Today was the first time I noticed more of a change in Lucky. Not the change I am hoping for. The last two Chemotherapy Treatments did not seem to have an impact on this cancer. The Rescue Therapy should have made a big difference and it did not. We are only 2 days away to see a Board Certified Oncologist, which is our last hope.
Lucky is noticeable more tired and absent minded. She is still eating well but her potty needs have increased, almost doubled. Her stool is more loose than usual and I notice her breathing being a little more labored at times, with shorter but more shallow breaths. She does not seem uncomfortable or in pain and has her moments of excitement. At one point when I checked her gums, they seemed awfully pale. I grew very concerned but then the color seemed to return to light pink.
Today I decided to stop all alternative treatments. After talking to a friend who lost her dog to stomach cancer, I decided to stop all alternative and immune supportive treatment with Lucky. Sometimes it is good to get someone else’s perspective and input, who is not emotionally connected to your do.
This is the only way to find out if anything else, other than meds, have any impact on this cancer, positive or negative. Also, my friend woke me up to the fact that when I see the Oncologist, Lucky probably should not have too many other things, other than the prescribed daily meds in her system.
I have been checking her Lymph Nodes frequently and noticed, at times, more swelling and bruising. Other times the swelling seemed to be less. I realized and had to admit to myself that maybe it is time to rethink our situation. I felt that is time to get used to the thought that there may not be much time left. We are not giving up, pending results on monday, but the fact is, without a miracle there is no cure for lymphoma and we can only hope for time.
My biggest fear is to find her in distress and not being able to get to the vet in time. Monday hopefully will give me a full picture or what we are in for and what we can expect. In the meantime we are trying to make each day our best day with Lucky.
Lucky sleeps with me in the bedroom as all my dogs do. She has one favorite side of the bed. I grew increasingly worried when I heard her breathing hard and fast and her heart seemed to pound out of her chest. Her vital numbers were clearly out of the normal range, however; she was relaxed and sleeping. I kept on thinking to call the Emergency Vet or take her to the Clinic, but did not want to jump the gun and rip her out of a relaxed sleep. After some time her breathing seemed to level out, her heart stopped pounding hard. Hopefully the night will be a good one, considering.
Today seemed like a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute encouraging and positive, the next hopelessness and despair. In addition, today was my father’s 10th year anniversary of his tragic and untimely death. I am expecting more of these days. My advice to anyone who reads and follows our Journey with Lucky. Try to stay positive and be happy around your dog. Your dog will know when you are sad. The more normal you are the less stress you will create for your dog. I am not changing routine, I am happy and business as usual around Lucky, since she needs encouragement not sadness.
My advice to anyone who is going through a similar experience. Don’t get lost in sadness, embrace the time you have. Shed tears when they want to come, but do it away from your dog. When you are drained of energy or your thoughts are clouded with sadness and grief, you can’t be there to support your dog through these tough and trying times. Have your moments, but try to get right back to a positive mindset. And pray – pray – pray a lot.